(On Running) #1 Running on Purpose

Stationed within one mile of the precipitous ~120 foot climb that Vermont City marathoners must tackle twice (Mile 6 & Mile 19) in their 26.2 mile journey, a photographer was able to capture both the joy and agony of running my first marathon.


Mile 5 (Lap 1) & Mile 18 (Lap 2)


Mile 5: Bring it on!

Mile 18: Not again...


~


I used to believe becoming a runner would be boring. Having grown up on the soccer field, I always felt the need to run with purpose, rather than just running. But then, in May 2025, a friend of mine suggested we run a Spartan 10K together. 

When beginning to train for the Spartan 10K, I followed a 6-week plan in the Nike Run Club (NRC) app. I ran with my phone, in gym shorts and old cut-off cotton T-shirts, listening to the NRC guided audio runs while dance pop blared in the background. I began watching Youtube videos to learn about terms like VO2 Max (one of the most common metrics for running performance), and was displeased to discover that my Apple Watch rated my VO2 Max of 43 as “Below Average” for my age and gender. 

Before training, my running experience consisted of running the occasional 5K, middle school cross country, and playing center midfield on the soccer field. My 5K PR was 19:42 (6:20/mi) in April 2024, but I was exhausted afterwards. Nonetheless, I thought my VO2 Max should at least be “Average,” which sparked a defiant curiosity in me. I vowed to improve my fitness.

Three weeks into 10K training, I ran the Vanessa Marcotte 5K in 19:45, placing 5th overall. Unlike in my PR, I felt strong after the race. The reason I was training was to be able to sustain my typical 5K pace over 10K, and I was making strides towards that. 

My six-week training plan ended, but my Spartan 10K race wasn’t for another month. I was beginning to find excitement in the monotony of training, and signed up for a 12-week NRC plan to run the Happy Valley Half Marathon in October.

The NRC guided audio made learning to run easy, teaching me the basics of running form, types of training runs, and other running tips. It gave me the idea to start a running log, to repeat affirmations while running, and to define my “why.” Why was I really doing this?

In truth, all training is monotonous. Being great at anything takes hard work, discipline, and focus. I could have run a 10K without training and finished it, but I couldn’t have run it fast. Through training, my Spartan 10K time ended up being in the top 1% of all participants. When I started running consistently, I wanted to prove to myself that I am capable of achieving hard things. That I am capable of change. This became the first of three affirmations that have defined my running journey.

I am capable of change

While running a Spartan 10K sparked my running journey, signing up for a half marathon made me begin to believe I was becoming a runner. Running 13.1 miles consecutively at 6:30 pace would require true dedication to the running grind.

I executed the NRC plan well, running 5 days a week for about 20-30 miles per week (mpw). I ran a 1:25:23 (6:29/mi) debut half marathon, placing fifth. In December, I ran the Hot Chocolate Run 5K in 17:45 (5:43/mi). Consistent training was paying off, and I set my sights on something larger: the Vermont City Marathon in May.

I am worthy of love

For one of my first graduate school classes, we were assigned the TED Talk The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown. In her talk, Brown’s research demonstrates that those who feel they have a strong sense of love and belonging and those who struggle for it are separated by one factor: they believe they are worthy of love and belonging. 

This once seemed like an abstract concept—all I have to do is believe it? But through running, I realized it was true. Choosing to run meant choosing to become better than I was yesterday. Meditating on the phrase “I am worthy of love,” or repeating it while running my first half marathon meant I was reinforcing a positive outlook towards my own capabilities. 

After the half, I began to train for my first marathon, which once seemed an impossible goal. With my newfound confidence as a runner, I set my sights on a Boston Qualifying (BQ) time of sub-2:50:00 by 2027. Achieving a BQ is a lifetime achievement for a runner, and it kept me motivated during my first marathon training block. 

I am a warrior

Marathon training with a BQ goal meant I had graduated from the NRC guided audio and began using ChatGPT to design an appropriate training plan. ChatGPT was able to lay out daily workouts, weekly mileage, and adjust my plan as needed. Without a competitive running background to guide me, it became my coach. My peak week was 63 miles, and I averaged between 45-60 mpw throughout the block.

I invested in proper running attire: high-quality running shorts, intensity-specific shoes, weather-appropriate layers, etc. A bulk of my training block was in winter, which meant running in sub-zero temps and blizzards in one of the harshest winters New England has seen in years. It was during the days I had every excuse not to run that I began to believe “I am a warrior.” 

Outside of my professional and academic responsibilities, running consumed much of my time. I was driven, determined to debut with a BQ. As a result, I adopted healthy habits that I had previously failed to instill. I woke up between 4-6 AM to fit in my training. I rarely drank alcohol. I was mindful of what I was eating. Eventually, I maxed out the VO2 Max reading on my Apple Watch at 65, superior for my age and gender, which led me to switch to Garmin. I was becoming a better version of me, underpinned by my ambitious running goals.

Running with purpose

When it was time to run the Vermont City Marathon, I wasn’t confident I would achieve sub 2:50:00, which requires 6:29/mi pace. I hadn’t even completed 26.2 miles consecutively yet. But I knew I was going to try anyway, because I wanted to prove to myself that I was capable of hard things. 

For the first 18 miles, I executed my plan perfectly. From Miles 9-18, I split nine consecutive miles within the 6:19-6:28/mi range, after starting a bit slower than my goal pace. But then I reached the hill at Mile 19, and my plan fell apart. 

I had heard of “hitting the wall” in conversations I had with marathon runners, but never experienced it in training. Essentially, hitting the wall occurs when your body runs out of fuel (glycogen, or stored carbohydrates), typically around Mile 18-20 of a marathon. For this race, the hill at Mile 19 was conveniently placed to punish runners who had burned through their energy too soon. My muscles had lost their ability to propel me at 6:29 pace. My plan rapidly evolved from “on pace for sub 2:50:00” to “try to save a sub 3:00:00” to “it is taking EVERYTHING in me not to walk to the finish line.” The last 10K of my first marathon tested my mental fortitude to the extreme. I stopped worrying about my splits and started fantasizing about the free pizza at the finish line. When I managed to cross the finish line in 3:07:10, the difficulty of what I had just endured shifted my perspective entirely. Falling short of my goal wasn’t a failure: it was a lesson in humility.


At the finish line

Hard things take time. Completing my first marathon was hard. Qualifying for the Boston Marathon will be harder. But my purpose in running has become proving to myself that I am willing to invest the time it takes to become great. A devoted athlete. A role model for the students I work with as a school counselor. A person who believes they are worthy of love, and encourages others to believe they are too. 

On the positive, I still have time to achieve a BQ for 2027. I signed up for the Beantown Marathon in September, which is the weekend before Boston qualifying closes for 2027. Putting the BQ aside, running has shown me that a healthy lifestyle is within my control. All I have to do is choose to live it. 


Ryan K. Beck can be reached at reflections@ryankbeck.com

Follow my training on Strava



 

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